Opening Description

Tired of having your emotions run your life? Do you feel an edge to your life that causes you to worry? Alan offers easy-to-use, practical help to make your life and your relationships happier, healthier, and whole.

4 Guidelines for a Happier Life »

Why Worrying Doesn’t Work

A client told me a story about having to give an oral report in school as a young boy. A few days before, he had it all planned out in his head and only needed to write down some notes. Noticing that he wasn’t working on it, his Mom asked him, “Aren’t you worried about it?” Now why would she ask if he wasn’t worried? Did she want him to worry? Probably not, but, for her, worry and handling something were the same. She just wondered Read More »

USING ALL YOUR CHANNELS TO HEAL PAIN

I’m going to start with the punch-line and then explain what I mean:

Healing is most effective when you use all your channels to heal.

Over the last 35 years or so I’ve worked with many people to help alleviate their pain, whether physical or mental/emotional. Throughout this time my clients have had a very high rate of successfully healing their pain, and I’ve been privileged to witness some extraordinary personal transformations. I attribute much of my success to my good fortune of having had very good teachers and mentors, who taught me to think in ways that facilitated my recognizing patterns and modeling how to change in efficient and elegant ways.

Much of my clients’ success resulted from the techniques and processes we used that I evolved from my years of experimenting with what works best. My two primary criteria for evaluating the efficacy of an approach are how efficient it is and how elegant it is. Read More »

Taking Time To Notice

Recently, I put in an application for a new life insurance policy. It’s been a while since I’ve heard anything and I’m due to make a payment on my present policy that I don’t want to make, because I don’t want to pay for double coverage. But if something doesn’t happen soon, I’ll have to make the payment. After calling my agent and her call to the underwriter, her return call to me, and my call to my doctor, I discovered that my doctor had no record of the underwriter’s faxed request for my records. This was what was holding things up.

Well, we got it all straightened out with a few more calls, and I returned to meditating which had been pre-empted by my agent’s call to me. As I settled in I noticed that I was feeling agitated and out of sorts. Read More »

No Regrets

If you think that the best way to invite good things in your future is rejecting the bad things from your past, you are sadly mistaken. It is accepting, and even embracing, everything that has happened to you that leads to a better future.

The question I want to ask you is, “Assuming that a wonderful future is coming, what is the basis for this wonderful future?” The answer is: everything that went before, including everything that happened before right now. No matter how bad it’s been, the great future that is coming is built on that. Your past is the base that your future stands on. Not some of your past, all of your past, good and bad. The past and future is one thing, all of a piece. Thus, rejecting any part of your past means rejecting this wonderful future that’s coming. It’s kind of like those time travel movies. If you change anything in the past it changes everything in the future.

But, but, but…I can’t be saying that those bad things were actually good. You’re right. I’m not saying that. If it was bad for you at the time, it was bad for you. That was your experience and your experience is the only one that ultimately counts in your life. I’m also not asking you to reevaluate your judgment about whether something was good or bad for you. That can sometimes prove helpful, but I’m only asking you to adopt one important distinction that is essential to living into a brighter future.

This is the distinction between saying something is okay, and being okay with a not okay thing. I am not saying that losing a job or a loved one is an okay thing. Losing a loved one is not okay, but learning to be okay with what has happened is necessary to moving into a better future. Becoming okay with all the not okay things that have happened to you is essential to inviting your better future that is coming.

I’m inviting you to make peace with your past, to become okay with all of it, what was good and not so good and even horrible. The bonus of making peace with your past in this way is that you get to be at peace right now. I can’t guarantee a particular great future for you. No-one can. But I can promise you that being at peace is a very resourceful state that will maximize your ability in creating your future. And the booby prize –  no matter how things turn out, you get to feel good all along the way, and the way never ends.

 

 

Too Much to Do, Not Enough Time

Does this sound like a familiar refrain? It does to me. It seems that life is speeding up and that people have too much to do in not enough time. It’s the complaint that I hear most from people. The result is that you end up feeling overwhelmed and get even less done. If this sounds like you, then I have a few ideas about how to free yourself from this treadmill.

We are in a time of almost universal access and incredible creativity. Unless you go live deep in the woods with little access to the grid then you are constantly being bombarded with information and possibilities for your life. If you are even a little open to new things, then life offers you more opportunities then you could possibly do in the limited time available in a mere lifetime. Read More »