Tag Archives: acceptance

Deciding Without Judging

Recently, I’ve had a falling out with a member of my family of origin, the result being that we are no longer in contact with each other. I’ve gone through a lot of emotions about this and I have reached a place where now I want to just be okay with it. It’s been very challenging to get my mind around this. I’ve found it very difficult to let go of my expectations of how families should be with each other… At this point I found it helpful for me to run through an exercise. This was to think about how it was possible to understand how my relative could reasonably arrive at their position. Without giving you the details I was able to figure out how this position was a “reasonable decision” given temperament and experience, just as my position is “reasonable” for me given my temperament and subjective experience. My sense of this may or may not be accurate, but it helped me to develop compassion for my relative, who was making choices I don’t prefer but that were gradually becoming ones I can live with. Finally, I’d like to share some insights I realized through this process that you might find useful…

Two Year Olds are Too Young for Weapons of Mass Destruction

It dawned on me that when it comes to technology we are like two year olds.

Those of you who have children remember that wonderful time. We call it the “terrible twos” because that’s when they get to have tantrums about what we’re not letting them do. These tantrums are often because a two year old is more advanced physically than she is mentally and emotionally. A two year old might be able to climb onto the kitchen counter to get a knife, but she doesn’t have the ability to know how to use it safely without hurting herself and others. So we have to take it away from her and she has a tantrum because she can’t quite yet get that it’s more unsafe than fun.
When it comes to technology, we’re very much like two year olds…

Why I Care About Charlie Sheen

Why do we pay so much attention when celebrities self-destruct in public? … Maybe we need others to fail so that we can feel good about ourselves. Maybe we’re jealous of his success and feel good to see him knocked down. …Perhaps, it’s just shadenfreude, getting pleasure from the misfortune of others. Even when I find my attention drawn to a drama like Charlie Sheen’s I don’t spend a lot of time there. My choice when I notice that my less enlightened aspects have reared their ugly heads is to use it as an opportunity to practice compassion and learn something about myself…the other practice that comes less easily to me is realizing that whenever I have judgment about someone else it says something about me…

Go with the Flow and the Ebb

I’ve been in private practice for more than 30 years. Throughout this time my business has ebbed and flowed…My greatest challenge has been to appreciate what is occurring at any particular time. I can be out of sync with my life no matter what is happening. When things are slow I worry about money. When I’m busy I ”kvetch” (Jewish complaining)…Maybe I need to accept that life is always working and give up the need to always understand exactly how. It seems that I always find myself back to this place where the best strategy is to let go and trust that everything is always working out, and that it always will; even when I’m caught in the insane delusion that there is something wrong…I invite you to figure out where you get caught in not accepting what is…