Tag Archives: sadness

Deciding Without Judging

Recently, I’ve had a falling out with a member of my family of origin, the result being that we are no longer in contact with each other. I’ve gone through a lot of emotions about this and I have reached a place where now I want to just be okay with it. It’s been very challenging to get my mind around this. I’ve found it very difficult to let go of my expectations of how families should be with each other… At this point I found it helpful for me to run through an exercise. This was to think about how it was possible to understand how my relative could reasonably arrive at their position. Without giving you the details I was able to figure out how this position was a “reasonable decision” given temperament and experience, just as my position is “reasonable” for me given my temperament and subjective experience. My sense of this may or may not be accurate, but it helped me to develop compassion for my relative, who was making choices I don’t prefer but that were gradually becoming ones I can live with. Finally, I’d like to share some insights I realized through this process that you might find useful…

Being Ruthless about Life when Bad Things Happen

Recently, I’ve had a number of clients and friends go through what most would consider personal hardships or even tragedies. Whether losing a job or a loved one or being diagnosed with a serious illness, these are things that we are rarely prepared to deal with. And you can’t really prepare for them when things occur with little or no warning.

When someone we know is going through a difficult time, it’s hard to know what to do or say. Our impulse is to try to make it better, but that is not the best direction to take,…

Feeling Good While People are Suffering in Japan

Hundreds of thousands of people are suffering in the wake of the Japan earthquake and tsunami. Many have lost their homes and loved ones and might also be vulnerable to exposure from radiation. My heart goes out to these people, but still I am able to enjoy my life. Does my feeling good mean that I don’t really care about these people? Does compassion mean I have to suffer along with others’ suffering. Am I shallow to watch all that basketball, but not do anything directly to aid those who are suffering in Japan?

Let’s talk about the weather

I’ve made a decision to free up how I feel from what the weather is doing. I want to commit myself to feeling good no matter what the weather. Now I know that I won’t be able to pull it off all the time, or even most of the time at first, but I think it’s a great thing to practice.